Can't Take My Eyes Off You
by ohEvangeline
Summary: If there was one thing Remus Lupin knew, it was that he didn't deserve her. She was perfection, he was old, worn, and scarred. But he couldn't tell her no, so here he was, wrapped in her arms, not caring that he wasn't going to find sleep this night.


If there was one thing Remus Lupin knew he didn't deserve, it was the beautiful woman beside him. Her blue eyes were sparkling and full of life, unlike his quiet golden ones, her smooth unmarred skin contrasted against his lined, scarred features, and the bright smile she had flashed just a moment before outshone his nervous, tight, near smile. She was diminutive and petite with slender, tapered fingers while he was tall and sinewy. None of the years that marked his careful movements and quiet voice had affected her; she was still boisterous with the carefree youthfulness she possessed. Beside her, he knew was second rate and undeserving. He couldn't stop looking at her.

Nymphadora Tonks was unusually quiet right then, her bouncy personality subdued by the hopeless sadness that had settled over the castle. The Order of the Phoenix had been successful in chasing off the intruding Death Eaters, but had lost their respected, loved, and truly great leader along with that. Albus Dumbledore, the man who was embodied by his kindness, wit, and compassion, was truly gone. In the aftermath, hardly a sound was to be heard. The loudest thing to have dared make itself known was Seamus Finnegan, in the form of rowing with his mother. He was victorious and would be staying for the funeral of the beloved headmaster. A headmaster that put much stock in love.

Love. Gazing at the woman sitting at the window, Remus let the word pass through his mind over and over again, tasting it like one would a fine wine, letting it roll around and familiarizing himself with it. He was in awe at the wonder of it. That she, so young and vibrant, would choose him: quiet, unassuming, and serious. Her clumsiness and quick wit had endeared her to him, but he had never thought anything to come of it, he was not the right one for her. When she had let him know her feelings nearly a year before, he had thought there was no way it was possible and proceeded to tell her so. He was too old, too broken to let her harbor feelings for him. For the rest of his life he would be an outsider, a werewolf, unaccepted by wizarding society. No, he would not subject her to that.

Now he was not sure how he had survived for so long without her firmly planted in his life. She was not just the reason for life, she was his life source. Without her he was sure his heart would cease to beat and his lungs would hold no air. Her soft touch left him reeling and intoxicated, yet it was only her that let him think clearly and concisely. As he reflected on what letting her love him and done to him, for him, she stood and walked over to him.

"It's late love, let's go to bed."

'Let's go to bed.' He looked up at her, still waiting for dawn to come and the surrealism to end, breaking the lovely dream and placing him back in reality, where he had not allowed this. She smiled and reached for his hand. No. She was definitely the most real thing that had ever graced him with a smile, a touch, and a firm grounding that motivated his days.

Taking her hand, he kissed her knuckles softly before standing. "Bed." Pulling her close, he laid his cheek against her soft, pink hair. "That sounds wonderful." To hold her close, confirming every dream he'd ever had, sounded like heaven. Breaking away so that they could walk, Tonks held his hand securely in hers as they headed to their chambers.

_I know that the bridges that I've burned along the way  
Have left me with these walls and these scars that won't go away  
And opening up has always been the hardest thing  
Until you came_

Remus wasn't quite sure how he had refused her all those months. Now he couldn't tell her no, couldn't bear to see any discontent cross her face. Her happiness was his and being with her was pure bliss. When he felt a twinge of regret, or that this was somehow wrong, he looked into her eyes and knew that even he could not be selfish enough to deny her whatever she wanted. By some trick of fate: she wanted him. She wanted **him**. He had spent so many years distancing himself from everyone around him, refusing to let anyone close. They could only get hurt, he reasoned. She had pushed past his misgivings and the walls he had erected to settle herself quite firmly in his heart.

Dora led him surely to the room that was theirs: together. That night in the hospital wing, only four days ago, had cemented her right to be here. Had established that he did indeed want her, despite his protests. Molly had admonished her, as she always did, and Dora had pleaded but it was the firm, decisive Minerva McGonagall that had settled it. He had grasped at straws and she took them away, tying him exactly where, in his heart, he wanted to be. Now he couldn't be away from her. He needed to see her, to touch her.

"Hold me." She murmured into his chest. They stood next to the four poster bed, ready to sleep. She was strong and brave, but this sadness weighed upon her. Lifting her gently, Remus placed her on the cools sheets and slipped in beside her. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close, gazing down at her.

_So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go  
This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known  
And I just can't take my eyes off you  
And I just can't take my eyes off you_

There was nothing he could do to leave her now, nothing he wanted to do. He had given her his heart and his soul so completely it was almost painful. James had been like that about Lily, he remembered. Everything about his days had revolved around her; she was the center of his universe. She was all that mattered. Every time she entered a room, his eyes lit, he sat a bit straighter, and nothing else could hold his complete attention. Remus had laughed along with Sirius' jokes, but inside he had wished for the same thing. A woman who would love him completely with a passion that burned. And what a sweet fire it was.

He was lost to her. The novelty of the idea would never wear off. She saw a beauty that no one else did. The day after she had finally made him accept her and admit how he felt in return, she had told him exactly what attracted her.

'You're so noble Remus. Of course, that's what made this take so long in the first place.' She had made a face and he had kissed her nose. 'You're perfect. Strong, and wise and sure. With you I feel as 

if the world could end and I would be alright, as long as I had you. You have suffered so much and yet you press on, enduring whatever life deals you calmly and you accept it. Sometimes I want to kick you and say "Stand up for yourself!" But then I remember that you're always right, except for about this of course, and you know that fighting will only make things worse. You're graceful, not an insufferable klutz like me. You get things right the first time and you're intelligent. You love so deeply and expect nothing in return. I knew I loved you the first time I saw you sleeping in the sitting room at Grimauld Place. Your face was relaxed and content: you were beautiful. I love you Remus. So much.'

She had effectively torn down every defense he had and taken over his life. Dora was the one he revolved around. Finally, he understood how James had felt about Lily. Dora wasn't afraid to tell him he was being a prat or an idiot, she told him the truth and was completely beguiling. Comparing himself to her, he knew he deserved nothing of the sort of love she gave him, but he just couldn't relinquish it.

_I love when you tell me that I'm pretty when I just woke up  
And I love how you tease me when I'm moody and it's always enough  
I'm falling fast, and the truth is I'm not scared at all  
You broke my walls._

If dawn never came, Remus knew he would be content in the darkness. Before, it had been stifling and he had felt trapped beneath the weight of it. Now it was soft and comforting. Dora snuggled against him, conforming to his body with her own so that they touched as much as was possible. He couldn't get enough of her. She was soft and warm pressed against him, her arms wrapped around him, her face nestled beneath his chin, breathing softly on his neck. The light of a half moon glowed upon her face, letting him watch her.

A smile traced her lips. In her sleep no troubles chased her. Holding her here in the darkness where no heartache chased him, Remus felt untroubled and free for the first time in twenty years. This was perfection, he knew it. Sleep didn't come, simply because he couldn't stop watching her long enough to let it. One moment without his eyes on her and he was sure it would all be over.

_So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go  
This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known  
And I just can't take my eyes off you  
And I just can't take my eyes off you, off you, off you_

If there was one thing he knew he didn't deserve, it was the beautiful woman wrapped in his arms. He had done nothing to merit the warm breath tickling his collar bone, the toned, lithe limbs entangled with his, or the love that spoke through the tight grasp she had on him. Her love held him more effectively than any vise like grip though. He knew he didn't deserve it, but he had never been very good at telling her no.

_So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go  
Oh, this feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known  
_

_And I just can't take my eyes off you  
I just can't take my eyes off you_


End file.
